508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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