That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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