Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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