But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
