yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
