I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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