Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
And then he peed in my hair
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