They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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