I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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