dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
