Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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