Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
