I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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