One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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