Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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