In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
