for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
