his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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