So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
