That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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