For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
