I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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