; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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