I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
