So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
