i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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