wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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