I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
