i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
