So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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