so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
