I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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