Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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