btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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