Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
