pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
A+ Viking dick
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
