Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
