last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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