You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
