I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
