The maid of honor just puked.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
