apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
