I accidentally burped into my bong.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
