my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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