If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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