The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
