the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
