you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
