her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
