so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
